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Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance, by Greg Smalley, Erin Smalley
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Every couple who wants a happy marriage will appreciate the revitalizing secrets in Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage. In it, Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley explore the traits of a healthy and thriving marriage.
Based on research of thousands of strong couples across the country, the twelve essential elements outlined are not only biblically based; they also chart a course for a romantic adventure that will last a lifetime.
With practical advice and stories from their own marriage and counseling experiences, Greg and Erin guide couples to find ways to work around roadblocks in their current relationship and to intentionally create communication patterns that will take them to emotionally safe places.
Yes, marriage can have its twists and turns. But the detours don’t necessarily have to lead couples off course. Greg and Erin help couples map out a journey for their marriages so that they can enjoy the passionate and intimate relationship that God has promised.
- Sales Rank: #146751 in Books
- Brand: Tyndale House Publishers
- Published on: 2016-01-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x 1.20" w x 5.70" l, .95 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 288 pages
About the Author
Greg Smalley has a passion to help premarital and married couples learn how to enjoy a lifetime together. Dr. Smalley is the director of marriage ministries for the Center for Relationship Enrichment on the campus of John Brown University, and assistant professor of marriage and family studies. Dr. Smalley is the author or coauthor of several books, including "The Wholehearted Marriage", "Before You Plan Your Wedding", "Plan Your Marriage", "The DNA of Relationships for Couples", "The Marriage You've Always Dreamed Of", "Men's Relational Toolbox", "Winning Your Wife Back", and "Winning Your Husband Back". Greg and his wife, Erin, along with their two daughters and son live in Siloam Springs, Arkansas.
El doctor Gary Chapman es el autor del libro y de la serie Los cinco lenguajes del amor, numero 1 en ventas en ingles segun el New York Times. Con mas de 35 anos de experiencia como pastor y consejero matrimonial, ha viajado por todo el mundo impartiendo seminarios.
Gary Chapman (PhD) is the author of the New York Times best-selling The Five Love Languages book and series. With more than thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling experience, he travels the world presenting seminars to couples who want to improve their marriage relationship. He is host of the weekly radio program Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, which airs on more than 250 stations.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Good, basic Christian marriage book
By Heather King
Greg and Erin Smalley share what they call 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance in their new book, Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage. Each chapter offers up a tip/secret/marriage principle, such as honoring one another, communication strategies, serving each other, and being committed to each other and to the relationship. The Smalleys specifically combat some of the lies we buy into about marriage like "marriage is easy when you find 'the one' or 'marriage is about being happy.'
The book is written with a great deal of humor and honest stories from their own marriage. Most of it seems written from Greg Smalley's perspective with Erin jumping in occasionally. I thought some of the best content in the book covered the area of the husband struggling as the spiritual leader in a marriage. For so many women, when we say we want our men to be spiritual leaders, we define that very specifically: He needs to initiate prayer time with us every day. He needs to lead us in family devotions and devotions for us as a couple. He needs to have daily quiet times that include a prayer journal and then talk about those spiritual insights with us.
I've found over the years that for most women, this is a trap of disappointment and frustration and leads to dishonoring our husbands. Greg Smalley said it so well in this book: "I want to challenge men to let go of preconceived notions about what it means to be a spiritual leader--where they're only focused on spiritual disciplines. I want to challenge each woman to broaden her definition of what it means to be a spiritual leader and to notice all the ways that her husband loves and cares for his family....God has gifted every person with specific strengths. Certain gifts help men lead the family toward God, using His methods of humility and grace. A man can give spiritual leadership in all kinds of ways. (pp. 40-41).
It was eye-opening to read this book when you remember that Greg Smalley is the son of the quite successful Christian marriage author and speaker, Gary Smalley. So, you'd probably expect Greg to have a pretty good start in his own marriage. He's fairly open and honest about the fact that his marriage actually struggled quite a bit in the beginning and there was a lot of head knowledge about marriage that he had to learn over time how to actually put into practice.
I would have loved to hear even more from Erin Smalley in this book. I'll be honest, a lot of the time Greg sounds like he's defending some of his choices by emphasizing how his wife does actually love that he's fun and spontaneous. For instance, I think even at the end of the book, he thinks it was 'cool' and 'fun' that he jumped into some water on their honeymoon that was clearly marked "NO SWIMMING" and thought his wife was the one with the problem since she refused to join him. To me, that's not 'cool' or 'fun' or remotely 'romantic.' It sounds pretty unwise and foolish. Even more than that, it sounds childish, dangerous and illegal. So, I had a hard time applauding him or even feeling remotely swayed by his perspective that their disagreement was a mutual problem or that she also needed to grow and mature so she could appreciate their differences. But, what can I say, I didn't marry someone who would do something like that and I guess that's just one more reason I can be so thankful for my own husband!
In addition to all of the material within the book itself, they include links at the end of each chapter for date night ideas and followup questions for couples and small groups. I can't say that this was the most insightful book about marriage I'd ever read. Most everything in the book could have been picked up from any other Christian marriage book and the "12 secrets" didn't really seem like secrets at all. But as a basic Christian marriage manual, this is a good read.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Practical tips for marriage
By Karen S. Roberts
Greg and Erin Smalley encourage couples to examine their understanding of marriage in light of God's plan for their marriage.
The Smalleys share plots from movies and television programs, their struggles, and other couples' marriage experiences to provide practical tips for the twists and turns, uphill and downhill through the adventure of marriage.
This book caused me to rethink my definition of spiritual leadership. Some women may struggle with an unrealistic definition of spiritual leadership. Their expectations may be just short of a husband who leads her like a pastor might lead his congregation.
"I want to challenge each woman to broaden her definition of what it means to be a spiritual leader and to notice all the ways that her husband loves and cares for his family. ... Certain gifts help men lead the family toward God, using His methods of humility and grace." (pp. 40-41)
He then, lists the ways men lead their families, giving Scriptural references by each leadership trait.
I thought it was interesting that the 12 "secrets" were action verbs. Love acts; love is not passive.
At the end of each chapter, readers are encouraged to visit the website for the book, crazylittlethingcalledmarriage.com, for date night tips based on the theme of the chapter.
Formulas, lists, and abundant quotes fill the chapters with poignant thoughts. Greg Smalley's humor and pranks demonstrate his delight in marriage, friendship, parenting, and life. For example, he thought their 15-year marriage had "come full circle" when Erin took him on a hike in Hawaii and ended up at the waterfall they found on their honeymoon. In spite of the "No Swimming" sign, she jumped into the water, swam around and invited him to jump in. On their honeymoon, Greg had defied the sign and jumped in, much to the horror of Erin.
"Just as the ancient Israelites had needed to get past the massive walls of Jericho to enter their promised land, I guess we needed to get past a waterfall."
I struggle to understand how Erin disobeying the "No Swimming" sign like Greg did on their honeymoon demonstrates that their marriage had improved.
I was intrigued by the title of this book, Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage ... 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance.
Keith and I have been married for 45 years, and marriage is a "big thing" to us. A 45-year love-filled marriage takes the practical steps that Greg and Erin Smalley have shared, but it takes more than these "secrets." It takes a husband and wife living for God and for each other.
A love-filled, lifelong marriage, like a love-filled Christian walk, takes dying to self and living and loving for God and each other.
A love-filled, lifelong marriage is a picture of Christ's love for His bride, the church.
Marriage is a shadow of big things to come.
Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a free copy of this book for my honest review.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent marriage resource
By nomer15
"Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance" by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley is the newest edition in the many offerings from Focus on the Family: Focus on Marriage resources designed to help strengthen and nurture marriage relationships. With marriage under attack from so many influences, both outside and inside the relationship, it's vital for all married and engaged couples to focus on marriage, strengthening it to help you navigate all kinds of challenges. In this book, the Smalleys combine solid Biblical teaching and personal stories to bring the reader 12 secrets, 12 truths, 12 ways to help fortify your marriage and help it last a lifetime. These truths include help understanding communication, honoring one another, serving one another, and seeking God above all.
While at first glance, these 12 secrets seem fairly basic. However, the more I got into the book, the more I realized just how much better I can do. Even being married for nearly 13 years, there are still so many ways I can improve and make my own marriage better. These may seem like simple techniques and insights to some, but they are highly valuable insights that would benefit many marriages, from those just starting out to those that have many years behind them.
I was truly blown away by this book and the insights that were offered. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for ways to bring some fresh insight and fresh perspective in your marriage journey.
Just as Joshua challenged his people to "choose this day whom you will serve" (Joshua 24:15), so we need to choose, every day, to pursue a great marriage. We need to choose intentionality over passivity...Loving thoughts over self-centered thoughts...Loving actions over self-serving ones. And in the process of keeping your commitments and acting in love, you will find yourselves enjoying the true Promised Land Marriage. (p.258)
(I’ve received this complimentary book from Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for a review. A positive review was not required and the views expressed in my review are strictly my own.)
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